Being a man in this reality can be really challenging. We are supposed to be the Bruce Willis type character in Naked Gun that has the muscles and all the answers and can provide and be strong and cover everything. In reality, this is so often not the case, with kind sensitive men finding it very hard to find a place in the world where they can be this kindness in a strong and gentle way without being made wrong for it.
For me, The Gentlemen’s Club really allowed me to step out of my wrongness and realise that being kind and sensitive and caring was okay and that lots of men feel like this. So often, men do not talk to each other and we isolate and this has devastating affects with depression, anxiety and suicide rates all very high among men and particularly between the ages of 15 – 25 years of age. I feel every man should be given a copy of The Gentlemen’s Club or a similar book that says it is okay to be sensitive and kind and that there is a place for this level of kindness in the world. So often we got lost in our wrongness and cannot see a way out and it can become a dim and dark hole. Men are trained as fixers and they are supposed to be problem solvers and as the world evolves so quickly, the role of men and women has changed so rapidly that many are left confused and this is equally true for me. The gentlemen’s club really helped me to see that I can be strong and honest and kind and by just being myself and that is enough and all that is required.
A big area that Gary covers is the relationship between men and women and one of the big realisations that I got was that I may never understand women . . and that is okay. I do not need to understand women. I do need to appreciate and respect the woman in my life and treat her with kindness but also know when to step away and realise that I am a valuable product too. So often, we see women as the most amazing and wonderful thing (which they are) but then we give ourselves away and this happens for both men and women. As we cut off parts of ourselves, less and less of ourselves turn up in the relationship. This is detrimental to ourselves and the relationship. I really got a lot of insights into relationship with the gentlemen’s club.
Overall, it is a fantastic resource for men and also a helpful insight for women into how men function. Gary really facilitated very skilfully allowed people to see new possibilities that never seemed possible before.